WP QUADS PRO

why being ignored hurts so much

ignoring someone can be more harmful than arguing, but why ?

KEY POINTS

  • Research finds that feeling ignored can affect people’s sensory perceptions, such as feeling that surroundings seem quieter.
  • Being ignored creates feelings of self-doubt, feeling a lack of control, and feeling not worthy of attention.
  • Knowing appropriate responses to people with whom you differ is helpful in managing tense relationships.
photo of an unhappy couple, because one person is ignoring the other person who is mad and screaming - why being ignored hurts so much - feelings of being alone and loneliness from a feeling of not being worthy of attention caused by someone you love ignoring you and making you feel insignificant and worthless - ignoring people is bad - people that ghost or ignore others without giving them a reason as going to hell - ghosting is wrong - people that ghost others are going to hell - ghosting is a sin - it is a sin to ghost someone - ghosting is worse than lying or cheating - ghosting is worse than lying - ghosting is worse than cheating on someone - ghosters are going to hell - people that ghost others are immature pieces of shit, and they don't deserve to be part of humanity - ghosting someone in inhuman - ghosting someone is subhuman - only savage animals exhibit behaviour like ghosting, it is not human - ghosters lack a conscience, otherwise they would know that ghosting is wrong - it is a very basic fact that ghosting someone will hurt them greatly and likely damage their mind permanently - ghosting is the same as abandoning someone and leaving them helpless to die - ghosting is the same as abandoning a baby to die - ghosting is the same as abandonment, or leaving a helpless animal or baby to die - in a sense, ghosting someone is the same as killing them - when you ghost someone you kill part of them - a part which is gone forever - this is why we say kill - ghosters are the worst excuse for human beings ever - what would you do if God abandoned you? - did Christ ever ghost someone? - ghosting is inhuman - ghosting is subhuman - ghosting is a tool of Satan - ghosting is a tool of the devil - ghosting is evil - ghosters are evil - ghosters have no conscience - people that ghost others are true sociopaths as they lack a normal conscience of general human morality and exhibit behaviour only witnessed by the most savage of animals - people that ghost others deserve to be abandoned - ghosting someone is morally wrong - ghosting goes against humanity - humans do not abandon humans - humans do not ghost other humans  - only a savage would ghost a person - only the devil ghosts people - the devil will always abandon you that is why ghosting is a tool of the devil - cast out those who use the devils tactics such as ghosting - these people are lost and have given into sin and the ways of selfishness - to be selfish is a sin - someone people are selfish these people will only care for themselves and thus do not need others to care about them - everyone else is caring for someone else the selfish person only cares for themself therefore they do not need anyone to care for them abandon the selfish person rid them of your life your light for they will destroy you and try to drag you into the eternal darkness of Hell - fom tooley - fomtooley.com
what ? what ??

Where there are people, there is conflict. Interpersonal conflict could manifest in the “hot” form, such as experiences, people’s everyday intuition, theory, and empirical evidence (Williams, 2009) suggest that being ignored hurts more than being argued with.

People’s fear of being ignored or socially excluded is often reflected in their hypersensitivity toward even the slightest cues that could signal social exclusion (Wirth et al., 2010). Further, the feeling of being ignored or excluded is so strong that it can affect people’s sensory perceptions, such as making the surroundings seem quieter (Wang et al., 2021). These beg the question: Why is the cold shoulder so much scarier than arguments?

Self-Esteem Doubts

As with most social psychological phenomena, there is likely a multitude of answers. One possibility is that unlike in a direct argument in which the cause of the conflict is still communicated, when people are ignored, information is cut off.

what did i do wrong? SpongeBob sad - SpongeBob all alone - meme - SpongeBob asking what did i do wrong? - "what did i do wrong?' - spongebobby - feelings of being alone and loneliness from a feeling of not being worthy of attention caused by someone you love ignoring you and making you feel insignificant and worthless - ignoring people is bad - people that ghost or ignore others without giving them a reason as going to hell - ghosting is wrong - people that ghost others are going to hell - ghosting is a sin - it is a sin to ghost someone - ghosting is worse than lying or cheating - ghosting is worse than lying - ghosting is worse than cheating on someone - ghosters are going to hell - people that ghost others are immature pieces of shit, and they don't deserve to be part of humanity - ghosting someone in inhuman - ghosting someone is subhuman - only savage animals exhibit behaviour like ghosting, it is not human - ghosters lack a conscience, otherwise they would know that ghosting is wrong - it is a very basic fact that ghosting someone will hurt them greatly and likely damage their mind permanently - ghosting is the same as abandoning someone and leaving them helpless to die - ghosting is the same as abandoning a baby to die - ghosting is the same as abandonment, or leaving a helpless animal or baby to die - in a sense, ghosting someone is the same as killing them - when you ghost someone you kill part of them - a part which is gone forever - this is why we say kill - ghosters are the worst excuse for human beings ever - what would you do if God abandoned you? - did Christ ever ghost someone? - ghosting is inhuman - ghosting is subhuman - ghosting is a tool of Satan - ghosting is a tool of the devil - ghosting is evil - ghosters are evil - ghosters have no conscience - people that ghost others are true sociopaths as they lack a normal conscience of general human morality and exhibit behaviour only witnessed by the most savage of animals - people that ghost others deserve to be abandoned - ghosting someone is morally wrong - ghosting goes against humanity - humans do not abandon humans - humans do not ghost other humans  - only a savage would ghost a person - only the devil ghosts people - the devil will always abandon you that is why ghosting is a tool of the devil - cast out those who use the devils tactics such as ghosting - these people are lost and have given into sin and the ways of selfishness - to be selfish is a sin - someone people are selfish these people will only care for themselves and thus do not need others to care about them - everyone else is caring for someone else the selfish person only cares for themself therefore they do not need anyone to care for them abandon the selfish person rid them of your life your light for they will destroy you and try to drag you into the eternal darkness of Hell

This means that ignored individuals need to engage in self-reflection to figure out what they have done wrong to upset the person ignoring them. In addition to the inherent unpleasantness of expending mental effort, the uncertainty that comes with such informational drought often results in the dismissed individual systematically contemplating various possible reasons for why they are being ignored. This usually involves going through a list of obnoxious or offensive words, actions, or personality traits that they have said, done, or possess, respectively.

When overwhelmed with a list of negative qualities (e.g., being mean, saying inappropriate things, not caring on a particular occasion, etc.), an individual’s self-esteem inevitably suffers. On the other hand, during a direct argument, the problem would have been identified, and no further rumination would be required (Williams, 2009).

Lack of Control

Another potential reason why being ignored is often more feared than arguments is that there is bilateral communication during an argument. Therefore, the content of the interaction, and hence the outcome, could more or less be controlled by both parties. However, when ignored, the individual loses that sense of control simply because, unlike arguments, being ignored is unidirectional. There is no way to repair or salvage the situation by re-engaging in discourse (Williams, 2009).

Not Worthy of Attention

feelings of being alone and loneliness from a feeling of not being worthy of attention caused by someone you love ignoring you and making you feel insignificant and worthless - ignoring people is bad - people that ghost or ignore others without giving them a reason as going to hell - ghosting is wrong - people that ghost others are going to hell - ghosting is a sin - it is a sin to ghost someone - ghosting is worse than lying or cheating - ghosting is worse than lying - ghosting is worse than cheating on someone - ghosters are going to hell - people that ghost others are immature pieces of shit, and they don't deserve to be part of humanity - ghosting someone in inhuman - ghosting someone is subhuman - only savage animals exhibit behaviour like ghosting, it is not human - ghosters lack a conscience, otherwise they would know that ghosting is wrong - it is a very basic fact that ghosting someone will hurt them greatly and likely damage their mind permanently - ghosting is the same as abandoning someone and leaving them helpless to die - ghosting is the same as abandoning a baby to die - ghosting is the same as abandonment, or leaving a helpless animal or baby to die - in a sense, ghosting someone is the same as killing them - when you ghost someone you kill part of them - a part which is gone forever - this is why we say kill - ghosters are the worst excuse for human beings ever - what would you do if God abandoned you? - did Christ ever ghost someone? - ghosting is inhuman - ghosting is subhuman - ghosting is a tool of Satan - ghosting is a tool of the devil - ghosting is evil - ghosters are evil - ghosters have no conscience - people that ghost others are true sociopaths as they lack a normal conscience of general human morality and exhibit behaviour only witnessed by the most savage of animals - people that ghost others deserve to be abandoned - ghosting someone is morally wrong - ghosting goes against humanity - humans do not abandon humans - humans do not ghost other humans  - only a savage would ghost a person - only the devil ghosts people - the devil will always abandon you that is why ghosting is a tool of the devil - cast out those who use the devils tactics such as ghosting - these people are lost and have given into sin and the ways of selfishness - to be selfish is a sin - someone people are selfish these people will only care for themselves and thus do not need others to care about them - everyone else is caring for someone else the selfish person only cares for themself therefore they do not need anyone to care for them abandon the selfish person rid them of your life your light for they will destroy you and try to drag you into the eternal darkness of Hell

Sometimes people attribute being ignored to a belief that they are not significant enough to warrant any attention, such as a considerable disparity in social status between themselves and their ignorer (Williams, 2009). This makes intuitive sense since conventional wisdom suggests that arguing with someone is an effortful task, at least more of one than ignoring a person. It follows, then, that individuals who are ignored could infer that the other person would rather forgo their friendship than expend the effort to reconcile any differences or clear any misunderstandings. This would understandably be a bitter pill to swallow.

Considering some possible reasons why the cold shoulder could be more destructive than arguments begs the question: Are there any practical implications? It is essential to be mindful of our goals when choosing a particular strategy in different contexts. For instance, when a Youtuber receives hate comments, whether the “haters” should be ignored or argued with depends on what goal the Youtuber wants to accomplish. If the goal is to clear up misunderstandings, then arguing would be the suitable option. If the goal is to imply to the haters that they are not high enough on the pecking order to warrant any attention, then it might be wise to opt for “silent retribution.”

silent retribution

The same logic could be applied to geopolitical conflicts in which one country has offended or wronged another. If the goal is to clear up misunderstandings and repair bilateral relationships, open communication would be appropriate. However, if the goal is to punish a country and encourage its leaders to self-reflect on their various wrongdoings, perhaps terminating communication entirely would be an apt tactic.

Ghosting: What It Is, Why It Hurts, and What You Can Do About It

What it Means to Ghost and Be Ghosted? What to Do If You’re Ghosted


ghosting - what it means to ghost and to be ghosted - and what to do if you have been ghosted

You’re in a relationship. Suddenly, and maybe without any warning at all, your partner seems to have disappeared. No calls, no text messages, no connection made on social media, no responses to any of your messages. Odds are, your partner hasn’t unexpectedly left town because of a family emergency, and isn’t lying dead in a ditch somewhere but, rather, has simply ended the relationship without bothering to explain or even let you know. You’ve been ghosted.

Who Ghosts and Who Gets Ghosted?

Why would someone choose to simply disappear from another person’s life, rather than plan, at minimum, a conversation to end a relationship? You may never know for sure why you were ghosted. While more studies need to be done specifically on the ghosting phenomenon, past research has looked at different types of attachment personalities and choice of breakup strategies; it’s possible that people with an avoidant type personality (those who hesitate to form or completely avoid attachments to others, often as result of parental rejection), who are reluctant to get very close to anyone else due to trust and dependency issues and often use indirect methods of ending relationships, are more likely to use ghosting to initiate a break-up.

Other research found that people who are believers in destiny, who think that relationships are either meant to be or not, are more likely to find ghosting acceptable than people who believe relationships take patience and work. One study also suggests that people who end relationships by ghosting have often been ghosted themselves. In that case, the ghoster knows what it feels like to have a relationship end abruptly, with no explanation, no room for discussion. Yet they seemingly show no empathy toward the other, and may or may not experience any feelings of guilt over their ghosting behavior. 

What it Means to Ghost and Be Ghosted

Ghosting is by no means limited to long-term romantic relationships. Informal dating relationships, friendships, even work relationships may end with a form of ghosting. For the person who does the ghosting, simply walking away from a relationship, or even a potential relationship, is a quick and easy way out. No drama, no hysterics, no questions asked, no need to provide answers or justify any of their behavior, no need to deal with someone else’s feelings. Certainly, while the ghoster may benefit from avoiding an uncomfortable situation and any potential drama, they’ve done nothing to improve their own conversation and relationships skills for the future.

For the person who is ghosted, there is no closure and often deep feelings of uncertainty and insecurity. Initially, you wonder “what’s going on?” When you realize the other person has ended the relationship, you’re left to wonder why, what went wrong in the relationship, what’s wrong with you, what’s wrong with them, how you didn’t see this coming.

What to Do If You’re Ghosted

Ghosting hurts; it’s a cruel rejection. It is particularly painful because you are left with no rationale, no guidelines for how to proceed, and often a heap of emotions to sort through on your own. If you suffer from any abandonment or self-esteem issues, being ghosted may bring them to the forefront.

In this age of ever-advancing technology, your ghoster is likely to appear on your various forms of social media and, if that’s the case, this person who is now physically gone from your life, is still quite visible. How do you move on? Unfortunately, there’s no magic bullet or proven advice to quickly guide you into recovery from a ghosted heart, but there is common sense.

“Avoid reminders of your ex,” advises Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Psychology and Chair of the Psychology Department at Albright College in Pennsylvania. “They’re likely to cause painful emotions to resurface, and they won’t help you get emotional closure or insight into why they broke up with you.”

After you stop torturing yourself by going over old photos, saved old texts, new social media postings, and anything else you think might give you insight into the mind and current whereabouts of your ghoster (and let’s face it, you’re bound to be doing that even if you’re not normally an obsessive person), try to find a new distraction. Perhaps most importantly, know that this probably isn’t about you or anything you did wrong.

“You should realize that if your ex chose the strategy of ghosting to break up with you, it likely tells you something about them and their shortcomings, rather than indicating that the problem lies with you.” Dr. Seidman adds.

In other words, try to move on as quickly and completely as you can. Maintain your dignity and stay focused on your own health, happiness and future, leaving the ghoster to deal with the ultimate repercussions of their own immaturity and lack of courage in the context of a relationship.